(Sing with me, now)... "OH All I want for Christmas is a Breathe Right Strip, A Breathe Right Strip, yes a Breathe Right Strip."
Yes, it would seem my prayers have been answered through the ingenious invention of Breathe Right Strips to remedy my husband's obnoxious snoring. Since he's been sick lately, his snoring has crossed the sound barrier and has become more like a sonic boom, all through the night. When we first were married, he called me "Mean Sleeper" because I would literally kick him and hit him until he'd roll his big old self over to start the process over again. Since then, I've become a LITTLE nicer - but not much. The worst is when his snoring is also harmonized by our 180-lb. mastiff's snoring, which is equally as loud and she's completely un-wakeable. I can't tell her to roll over (although I've yelled it out many a time) - and when I hear her massive dewlaps flapping to and fro whilst the snoring is happening, it's utter torture. I become like a cornered cat and the hair stands up all over my body and I crouch in the fraction of a corner of my king-sized bed that has been allocated mine, and I am hissing, growling and ready claw someone's eyes out.
So to keep the Mean Sleeper at bay, we've finally tried the Breathe Right Strips for a few nights. At first, I thought - phew - these really do work! I slept OK... not great, but it curtailed the noise quite a bit. However, last night, as my husband is unconsciously barking at me from the bedroom, it occurs to me that these strips are NOT working, and have, in fact, given me a false hope disguised as a $14.99 dream-come-true. I want to rip the sticky strip right off his nose and stomp on it until I feel better or fall asleep - whichever comes first.
Lately, he's been keeping me up so much that I've turned to the couch (he of course would not consider sleeping anywhere but on the 99.78ths percent of our bed that he's allocated as his). I have a curved leather couch - very pretty - but definitely not a sleeping couch unless you've got a body shaped like a 'C'. However, I've become accustomed to making it one by layering blankets and positioning pillows in strategic places so as to simulate something comfortable and yet sound-proof from the war cries coming from my husband's nose/throat region. But I'm tiring of the couch - the cold, cold leather couch (remember my darling keeps our house at 62 at night), so what am I to do?
Can you say gift certificate for Thermal Ablation Palatoplasty in his stocking?
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3 comments:
Oh, that is NOT good. When I was pregnant, I would snore like crazy. Not the occasional snore that can be silenced by moving off of your back and onto your side, but the snoring that just doesn't stop. My husband was SO fed up that I tried the strips. Luckily, they really helped. Not 100%, but enough that he could sleep.
Does he happen to have sleep apnea? I know that some people have trouble breathing - even stop breathing for a second or so - and snore like crazy. Maybe it is a medical issue that can be corrected.
Now, in regards to your sleeping arrangement....I am not sure that is fair!
But I have to laugh about your bed sharing comment. My husband and I always fight over who has more room on the bed. So much so that he has gotten to the point of counting the railings on the headboard - 6 is the middle. He is nuts.
I'd hate to think that I am putting my wife through that. But really, my snoring doesn't bother me at all ;)
I like your blog so... TAG:
http://busydad.squarespace.com/entries/7-facts-part-ii-bigger-badder-and-randomer.html
You husband and his brother are so much alike it's sad. Brad wears the strips and they seem to help. The best thing was when he finally had his nose surgery. Of course it takes something crazy like 1 year to completely heal, so it's not an immediate fix!
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