Random Thoughts.

1. I will officially NOT be boycotting American Idol since my honey David Cook won. I was completely ready to never watch it again if little Gomer Pyle Archuletta was victorious. Praise God. There is some semblance of sanity left in this world. Now moving on to "So You Think You Can Dance?" I know I can, so I can't wait to see these losers try and show me up tomorrow.

2. Can you tell my 4-year-old is a chef in the making (or that we watch too much Food Network)? Today, she and I were enjoying a mommy-daughter moment of mani's and pedi's on my bathroom floor in preparation for her "Moving Up" program at preschool tonight, when I started filing her nails with my nail file. I asked her to run and get the clippers and off she went, but not before saying, "Mommy, I'll go get the clippers and then I'll come RIGHT back so we can finish zesting my nails!"

The End.

The Sad, Sad Toilet - A Memoir

Hello dear readers. My name is Toilet. I've enjoyed a good life with Mommica, Husband, Princess and Prince. In fact, I remember the day Husband picked me out at Home Depot... I couldn't believe how lucky I was to be picked! I live in hall bathroom now, and while things are a bit more eventful at times now that the children are in the world, I'm quite happy. I'm used often and have witnessed some gruesome, and some lovely things in my short life.

The lovely things? Oh I remember Princess's first time on me. She called me the "big girl potty" - ah, the celebration, the tears. Prince's first crying when placed upon the "big boy potty" (he's not ready for me quite yet). Mommica's many nights sitting contentedly on my lid while we watched the kids bathe happily in the tub. The Prince hands splashing around in my water before Mommica comes and scolds him. Yes, I've seen some sweet times.

I've also seen some dark times. Times I don't wish to recall. And yet, something keeps bringing me back to that terrible place. In fact, I still have nightmares about it all when it happened the first time ... I was alone... disassembled like some two-bit appliance thrown in the yard where uncivilized animals go to the bathroom. No love. No TP. Husband had to unscrew every bolt, loosen every seal and pry me off the wall... taking me from my home, only to shove things up my pipes I had no idea could be shoved there. Yes, I was returned to my home, feeling cleansed and a bit free-er. But I cannot bear the thought of another cold, dark night when I'm ripped from all that I know and love about my life in hall bathroom.

You see, the Prince likes throw toys in water... all water - whether it's a mop bucket, the dog water bowl, or my beloved bowl. He callously laughes as he watches them go 'bye-bye' into the abyss that is my pipes. But he doesn't know the torment he puts me through. And as hard as I try to flush the toys and avoid the hell that's sure to follow, it's to no avail. He doesn't hear Husband swear like an emotionally-charged premenstrual woman who's just run out of chocolate ice cream, when he sees me overflowing from clogged pipes. The Prince just thinks its all fun and games.

And yet... here I am again. Brutally torn from my safety. My home in hall bathroom. Damn that doll shoe and bracelet that I could not pass. My only hope is that Husband will remember the good times we've had. The clean flushes. The quiet mornings reading together. Will I ever be allowed to return? Not if Prince can help it, I fear.

Dinner Conversation

Conversation with my 4-year old at dinner tonight:

(E): "Mommy and Daddy, do you know what a special day I'm going to have tomorrow?"
(M&D): "No, tell us!"
(E Waiving her arms, gesturing with both hands and using little mouth clicks while nodding her head as if saying "yep, yep I know exactly what I'm saying"): "WELL, I'm flying to California and I'm running late so I'm taking all my kids and (insert brother's name) and we're going to stay from the 17th to the 16th. And Kiki and Mary (dolls) are coming with us and Kiki is going to fall asleep on my lap and (as she pulls down the top of her tank top to expose her chest) she's going to drink my milk from my 'thing ' (pointing to her "nibble") and then her father is going to hold her."
(M&D): "Who's her father?"
(E): (flicking her pointer finger toward her brother) "That guy."
(M&D understandably grossed out): "oh."

Cute cuteness

Yep, I'm a little late in posting some of these Easter pics, but they're too cute, so here they are. Feel free to ridicule me for my tardiness.

Wo... trying to hold fuzzy bunny and drink... do NOT let go of that Mimosa...wo.. wo...

Again. Not letting go of the Mimosa.



"Uncle J, I'm about to throw up on you. Yes, yes indeed I threw up. What would an outing be without me throwing up on my nice clothes?"

"Oh little bitty bunny. You will be mine. I will love you. And kiss you. And squish you. And never let you go." (And then I'll hold you by your ears and drag you around until you scratch my eyes out trying to get away.)

"Oh, mommy I love this baby bunny so much that I will take him home and force him to be my baby doll slave bunny."