I'll be brief since it's 3 a.m. again (what's my problem?? I don't even have the pleasure of being fuzzy on allergy medicine! I just can't sleep!) I've got to make my Thanksgiving shopping list right now, so I'm in the list mode...
Top Ten Things I'm Thankful For About Thanksgiving...
10. Spending another Kodak moment (day) with the Fam. Sorry to be 'expected' but they're the best.
9. The FOOD. I love the food on this day more than any other - love the 5 appetizer dishes for 'lunch', love the turkey dripped with gravy, stuffing, mashed & sweet potatoes and cranberry sauce (all carefully balanced in one bite so as to experience the goodness of all that is Thanksgiving food at once), love the rolls with butter and honey, love the pies, love the smells, love everything about it. love it.
8. An excuse to fill my stomach so full that I am in pain and need to nap instead of doing the dishes.
7. The sound of football in the background and my hub shouting "Ya, THAT's what we pay you for you Dink... why didn't you just give the ball to me? I could have done it better than that!" Sure.
6. Turkey skin... I know - this goes with #9, but it really deserves it's own number. Two years ago we went to my dad's for Thanksgiving and I have been boycotting his Thanksgivings ever since, because the man REMOVED THE SKIN prior to serving it. WHAT???? That's illegal! (And I don't use that exclamation point lightly.) Or it should be! Never NEVER do that to an unsuspecting guest. I passed out and starting crying as I came-to after hearing this news that day, and then I walked out (well I pretty much did those things. Or at least I WANTED to!) Crispy, fatty turkey skin is the true meaning behind Thanksgiving. Enough said.
5. The fact that Christmas decorating is one day away. I deck my halls and it's my favorite time of year. I picture thick winter coats and pretty scarves, people hustling and bustling about with their shopping bags and snow flakes on their eye lashes, everyone happy and that annoying Santa from Salvation Army ringing his bell... but I digress... it's just a FUN season. Too bad it will be 90 degrees on Christmas here in Phoenix. Nothing will be on my eye lashes except perhaps some sweat from cooking all day while wearing my pretty new green sweater that's entirely inappropriate for this weather. Oh well. A girl can dream.
That's enough list. Too tired. Now I have to do the real list. Happy thanksgiving everyone.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Saturday, November 17, 2007
T-h-e T-u-r-k-e-y I-s a F-u-n-n-y B-i-r-d
It was Thanksgiving Program time at preschool again last night. SO stinkin cute, I might add. BUT, t'was the same program as last year (it's the season, so I think I'm going to start using 't'was' more often in my regular dialogue.) Thus, I pretty much lip-synched every word of the songs and the play. "PRAISE THE LORD!" (There's a 5-year old who plays a preacher in the play and he randomly shouts that phrase out.)
Here's a few pics of E (you know - the cute one in the back row with the brown dress who's being blocked by the RUDE 3-year old waving to his STUPID parents!;) She's in her homemade turkey head hat (note the mouth on the side of it's head... neat!)
Aahh - here's mi little dumplin - she has the look of giddiness I usually get when someone's handing me a plate of deep-fried, chocolate-covered something-or-other goodness)
Anyhoo, I can't get one of her darn songs out of my head, so since I'm high on allergy pills that won't let me sleep (but at least I can BREATHE while I'm up at 4 a.m.) I'm going to go ahead and sing (write) it for you now. Here's the caveat - you MUST not read quickly - I don't care if you won the speed-reading championship in 3rd grade - you MUST read veeeeeeerrrrrryyyyyy ssslllllloooooowwwwwlllllyyyy because that's how those teeny little preschoolers sing it (and, partially, why it's driving me freaking batty!). Here I go...
"The turkey is a funny bird. It's head goes WOBBLE WOBBLE (picture kids wobbling)
The turkey only says one word.... GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE! (picture kids making hand movements under their chin to symbolize that red googly thing under a turkey's neck (what's that called?) Let's find out! (yep, it's 4:44 a.m. and apparently I'm UP for the day...)
On my rather quick and fun quest to find this fact (what the heck did moms do when they couldn't sleep 50 years ago????) I ran into some fun little trivia, so we're going to take a test...
1. What's the name of that red skin that hangs from a turkey's neck?
A. Snark (I chose that one cuz I likey the wordy)
B. Wattle
C. Garble
D. Swag
The answer is B. It's called a wattle. LOVE IT (however I would have been equally happy if it was a snark or garble).
Did you also know that...
* Turkeys have heart attacks. When the Air Force was conducting test runs and breaking the sound barrier, fields of turkeys would drop dead.
* Turkeys can drown if they look up when it is raining.
(****me dashing off quickly fumbling in the darkness to turn off my LOUD alarm that's supposed to be waking me up right now....) Good morning!
Here's a few pics of E (you know - the cute one in the back row with the brown dress who's being blocked by the RUDE 3-year old waving to his STUPID parents!;) She's in her homemade turkey head hat (note the mouth on the side of it's head... neat!)
Aahh - here's mi little dumplin - she has the look of giddiness I usually get when someone's handing me a plate of deep-fried, chocolate-covered something-or-other goodness)
Anyhoo, I can't get one of her darn songs out of my head, so since I'm high on allergy pills that won't let me sleep (but at least I can BREATHE while I'm up at 4 a.m.) I'm going to go ahead and sing (write) it for you now. Here's the caveat - you MUST not read quickly - I don't care if you won the speed-reading championship in 3rd grade - you MUST read veeeeeeerrrrrryyyyyy ssslllllloooooowwwwwlllllyyyy because that's how those teeny little preschoolers sing it (and, partially, why it's driving me freaking batty!). Here I go...
"The turkey is a funny bird. It's head goes WOBBLE WOBBLE (picture kids wobbling)
The turkey only says one word.... GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE! (picture kids making hand movements under their chin to symbolize that red googly thing under a turkey's neck (what's that called?) Let's find out! (yep, it's 4:44 a.m. and apparently I'm UP for the day...)
On my rather quick and fun quest to find this fact (what the heck did moms do when they couldn't sleep 50 years ago????) I ran into some fun little trivia, so we're going to take a test...
1. What's the name of that red skin that hangs from a turkey's neck?
A. Snark (I chose that one cuz I likey the wordy)
B. Wattle
C. Garble
D. Swag
The answer is B. It's called a wattle. LOVE IT (however I would have been equally happy if it was a snark or garble).
Did you also know that...
* Turkeys have heart attacks. When the Air Force was conducting test runs and breaking the sound barrier, fields of turkeys would drop dead.
* Turkeys can drown if they look up when it is raining.
(****me dashing off quickly fumbling in the darkness to turn off my LOUD alarm that's supposed to be waking me up right now....) Good morning!
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Rocks In Your Underwear and Other Normal Things
Well, my mother-in-law (aka "Nannie") came for a week-long visit and left this past weekend. It was an interesting week. She came to the realization that sweet, perfect babies do grow into kids who talk about poop and other silly things and they become a little less endearing at times.
For example, E was playing with her baby, Mary (her alter ego most days), while MIL was crocheting and E took a skien (love that word) of yarn and put it between Mary's legs and said "that's a big giant poop, Nannie!" Nannie didn't think it was very funny. Mommy and Daddy did - primarily because that verbiage comes straight from Daddy's mouth. On a daily basis. He's obsessed with BMs - well, let me restate... he's obsessed with HIS BMs. And yes, it's apparently huge and giant. The guy's 6'5" so I guess big things come from big packages. I digress. Anyhow, husband (aka "That Man") tends to talk about these things to our kids - and sometimes E will finish a 'job' and take a look and say "WOW Mommy - that's a MASSIVE poop!" Husband even has a running list of his favorite terms for doing this job... for example:
1. Coiling a steamer
2. Bending some pipe
3. Screaming mud-blower (he's cracking up right now over that one)I think it's probably similar to this
4. Spraying (only if it's really loose, similar to a 'mud-blower' - I'm told)
5. Burying an elf
6. Negotiating Chocolate Hostages, etc., etc.
So, it's no wonder my little angel is eager to make her own commentaries on her constitutions. And so I come to the title of this post... probably not as funny as the list, but it's where I started before the big tangent, so I feel like I must return...
So Nannie was sitting down on the loo and as soon as she pulled down her pants, she heard a 'plop' into the water below. Feeling like she still had control of her bowels, she wondered what on earth that was, and stood to look. She saw a big 'ol rock in the water - luckily - it hadn't dropped from her body - just from her underwear. How did it get there, you ask? The kids were putting rocks down her shirt hours earlier (something only a Nannie would let happen) and thus one little guy got lodged without notice, and there you have it.
For example, E was playing with her baby, Mary (her alter ego most days), while MIL was crocheting and E took a skien (love that word) of yarn and put it between Mary's legs and said "that's a big giant poop, Nannie!" Nannie didn't think it was very funny. Mommy and Daddy did - primarily because that verbiage comes straight from Daddy's mouth. On a daily basis. He's obsessed with BMs - well, let me restate... he's obsessed with HIS BMs. And yes, it's apparently huge and giant. The guy's 6'5" so I guess big things come from big packages. I digress. Anyhow, husband (aka "That Man") tends to talk about these things to our kids - and sometimes E will finish a 'job' and take a look and say "WOW Mommy - that's a MASSIVE poop!" Husband even has a running list of his favorite terms for doing this job... for example:
1. Coiling a steamer
2. Bending some pipe
3. Screaming mud-blower (he's cracking up right now over that one)I think it's probably similar to this
4. Spraying (only if it's really loose, similar to a 'mud-blower' - I'm told)
5. Burying an elf
6. Negotiating Chocolate Hostages, etc., etc.
So, it's no wonder my little angel is eager to make her own commentaries on her constitutions. And so I come to the title of this post... probably not as funny as the list, but it's where I started before the big tangent, so I feel like I must return...
So Nannie was sitting down on the loo and as soon as she pulled down her pants, she heard a 'plop' into the water below. Feeling like she still had control of her bowels, she wondered what on earth that was, and stood to look. She saw a big 'ol rock in the water - luckily - it hadn't dropped from her body - just from her underwear. How did it get there, you ask? The kids were putting rocks down her shirt hours earlier (something only a Nannie would let happen) and thus one little guy got lodged without notice, and there you have it.
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Wanna hear the most annoying sound EVER???
Yes, much like one of my favorite movies, Dumb & Dumber, I too have my own version of the most annoying sound in the world. It comes from my almost-2-year-old, The Prince. It happens about 73 times a day. Whenever he doesn't like something, whenever I take something from him that he can't play with (my mascara, for example, or my bronzer that he broke this morning, or the 16 crayons that fell out of his clothes yesterday, etc.) he makes this screeching sound... like "Aah!!!!" - super high-pitched and super annoying. Then he repeats himself 82 more times until I remove him from the room.
When he does this, it makes me want to take those onions I'm chopping and rub them all over my bare eyeballs. Then it makes me want to get out the toothpicks in my baking cupboard and carefully insert them underneath each of my not-so-manicured fingernails. THEN I want to cry. WHY does my sweet child do this thing that makes him act so BRATTY??????
Who knows. I'm hoping he'll outgrow it, or I'll be blinded and won't be able to touch anything for the rest of my life. And that really would be a shame.
When he does this, it makes me want to take those onions I'm chopping and rub them all over my bare eyeballs. Then it makes me want to get out the toothpicks in my baking cupboard and carefully insert them underneath each of my not-so-manicured fingernails. THEN I want to cry. WHY does my sweet child do this thing that makes him act so BRATTY??????
Who knows. I'm hoping he'll outgrow it, or I'll be blinded and won't be able to touch anything for the rest of my life. And that really would be a shame.
You Can't Make This Stuff Up
OK so E's said some funny things lately...
1. "Mommy, how do you spell 'bloody bags'?" HUH?????? I swear she's obsessed with blood for some reason...
2. She was telling my mom about Toonces and Java (our deceased cats nabbed by urban coyotes... no they're not an urban myth)... "Mimi, Toonces and Java went to Heaven." (Mimi): "I know honey... I'm sorry about that" (E): "Now Jesus has to feed them!"
And we won't forget The Prince... yesterday right before I dressed him up in his Monkey costume, he was wearing a sports jersey onesie, so while he was standing up, I unsnapped the bottom of the onesie and 16 crayons fell out of his outfit onto the ground. Hmmm.... odd. I guess the guy didn't have pockets, so where else was he going to put all those crayons?
1. "Mommy, how do you spell 'bloody bags'?" HUH?????? I swear she's obsessed with blood for some reason...
2. She was telling my mom about Toonces and Java (our deceased cats nabbed by urban coyotes... no they're not an urban myth)... "Mimi, Toonces and Java went to Heaven." (Mimi): "I know honey... I'm sorry about that" (E): "Now Jesus has to feed them!"
And we won't forget The Prince... yesterday right before I dressed him up in his Monkey costume, he was wearing a sports jersey onesie, so while he was standing up, I unsnapped the bottom of the onesie and 16 crayons fell out of his outfit onto the ground. Hmmm.... odd. I guess the guy didn't have pockets, so where else was he going to put all those crayons?
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