Mistake #7354: I sent him to the store. OK - he ASKS to go to the store. So, I hesitantly oblige, knowing it will add on another 15 minutes for me to prepare the list so it's fool-proof for him. People - I TRY my darndest to be as S-P-E-C-I-F-I-C as possible with the man when I'm writing the grocery list. I mean - I specify organic or not, pounds or quantity, firm or ripe, soft/squishy rolls vs. airy/crusty rolls, Belgian Endive vs. regular Endive, etc. I cannot TELL you how many times the man has gotten it wrong. And I mean ALL WRONG.
Today for example, I cleaned out my cupboards and noted a few spices and baking items we were due to replace. Vanilla Extract was one said replacement item. The husband came home with IMITATION Vanilla Extract. All to save... what? Maybe 50 cents? RI-diculous! I never even knew there WAS an imitation vanilla extract. I mean - it has NO vanilla in it! It is all corn syrupy and alcoholy and apparently there's "Vanillin" in it. What the criminy is Vanillin?
Or like when he got crumbled blue cheese instead of Gorgonzola (also today). I mean come on... there's no comparison. Doesn't he know that? Would he bring me home one of those fake Brie-Whiz triangles in the plastic tub vs. the REAL Brie? (Yes. Every time.)
Or when I specified exactly 1 pound of Red Swiss Chard for a recipe (yesterday.) He brought home 2 giant bunches. (Mommica) "I assume this weighs one pound, husband?" (Husband) "I dunno." "I didn't weigh it, I just grabbed and went." (no use in replaying the scene - basically, I'll sum it up with Mommica got veeerry upset.)
It can't all be blamed on his desire to save a few pennies - many days, it's his lack of label-reading acumen. In fact, he tends to not read labels at all, and when I say labels, I mean ENTIRE PACKAGES. So he's managed to come home with things like "Southwest Spiced" potatoes instead of regular, or - I shudder to remember - Fat Free Creamer instead of my regular just-paste-the-full-fat-on-my-thighs creamer.
However. Husband did manage to bring home 2 balloons for the kids. And another bottle of wine to add to our wine cellar collection in our new wine fridge. And hey. I didn't have to go. So I suppose I will just continue to stock-pile the "Mistakes" products and give them to our local homeless shelter, since they'll be utterly grateful for all those mess-ups.
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14 comments:
HAHA! Luckily cooking is a hobby of mine and I actually do all the cooking in the house. BUT, I do suffer from the same affliction when it comes to cleaning products. My wife has to spell out EXACTLY what she needs or else I mess it up every time. The other day, there were two people in the cleaners aisle, me and one other husband. How do I know he was a husband? We were both on our cell phones talking with our wives because "beach cleaning action" vs. "antibacterial" vs. "multi-surface" mean nothing to us and we needed step-by-step guidance through the ordeal.
Too funny! Yeah, sending hubby to the grocery store is always much more trouble than it's worth.
First of all, I have to write a list with complete descriptions of each and every item, including which aisle it is in. Second, he often buys the wrong thing (or gets frustrated and buys nothing). Third, he adds his own items to the list, and they are usually things like cookies, Count Chocula, you know, JUNK.
I was really sick last week, but still dragged myself to the store for the weekly shopping. Even on death's doorstep, sending hubby is still not worth it.
My hubs is the SAME WAY. I don't even let him go to the supermarket anymore. No way. I just get angry.
At least he got you wine, right??? My hubs is the same way...never gets what I want but ALWAYS gets something ridiculous, like 5 boxes of some crappy cereal we'll never eat, because "it was on sale."
Ugh...men.
Bloghoppin' :)
My husband does the same thing. He tends to over think things, and come up with something even better than I asked for, when I just want exactly what I asked for. :-P
I SOOOO feel your pain! After 13 years I've learned that going myself saves me a lot of time and money. I often wonder if these mistakes are not mistakes at all and simply his way of getting out of yet ANOTHER chore! I'm enjoying you blog and will definitely be back! I'm off to read some of your posts...nice "meeting" you!
K...I'm back...I'm not a freak....just had to tell you that I read your 100 things about you post and think that we may possibly...quite certainly...be sisters in another life time...
I think it's time to raid the wine collection.
At least he tried. :)
My hubby sometimes messes up the grocery list, too. And he adds on a bunch of junk (literal junk food) for himself and then whines about how much the groceries cost.
Yummy wine!
Glad to see you back...I have enjoyed reading you. My husband does the same thing..doesn't matter how specific I make the list...he always messes it up.
But...at least he tries.
On one of your past boths...two posts ago, you mentioned Lost, your addiction to it...just wanted to share with you, in case you didn't know, that you can go to abc.com and watch every episode of Lost, including the current season, free of charge...that is how I got caught up.
Oh. my. gosh. Your husband goes GROCERY SHOPPING for you? and he VOLUNTEERS to do it? AND he brings home a treat for the kids?! Use the imitation vanilla - it's worth it!!
IMITATION Vanilla Extract... I shudder at the mere thought. I'm lucky that my hubs is probably more of a food-nic than I am, still he will come home with heaven-knows-what that was definitely not on the list.
blog hoppin' - etcetera
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