The Cleanse. Day 1.

I have decided to get a happy colon and do an 8-day cleanse with a 5 day liquids-only fast. Crazy much? Yep. Why???? You ask. Well, because a) I don't have an unhappy colon, but a healthy (aka cleaned out) colon is essential to some body stuff, and I'm all about ridding my body of toxins, and b) because I ADORE eating and could quite possibly eat a small child should they get in my way of dinner, and c) because I need to lose 10 pounds and due to reason (b) I have trouble reducing my portion sizes to allow me to drop said weight and figured this would be the perfect way to do that, and d) because I'd really like to prove to myself I'm as strong as my friend Melissa who has done this twice already.

Is it just me or do you ever feel entirely wimpish around people who have the strength of Jesus during his 40 days in the desert? Like I have a friend who regularly runs full marathons, am I'm all "huh. I attempted to run a marathon in high school (without training one single day) and made it 7 miles and literally felt like my calves were hack-sawed in half for about a month. Granted - that was due to sheer stupidity - not my will power, but still. I could have actually had the willpower to train consistently.

Another example - after 15 hours of labor without feeling much of anything contraction-wise, they turned my petocin up to full volume and one contraction sent me over the edge and I was practically french-kissing the anesthesiologist as he walked in the room with my epidural. I have many friends who suffered through natural child birth without hesitation.

So, you see, I'm trying to develop more discipline in my life and with that comes development of self-control.

Anyhow. So I'm here today. My ritual the past 3 days has been to reduce portions by 25% each day. Fine. Done. No prob. Then today I started the fast. I drink this sand with juice Toxin Absorber with apple juice 5x a day. I've been irritable and my mind has been playing some serious games with my determination. But I think I've already lost about 2 pounds. And I called my friend Melissa and she kicked my a@$ back in shape to finish this thing out.

So, I'll be blogging about my experience each day until I quit - I mean finish the 5 days. Ugh. God help me.